I was ready to drop this whole thing a couple months ago and it flashed through my mind again this morning. No, it isn't because my house is a mess and I should be spending time cleaning it. (It is and I should; it's just not the reason.) It's not because my husband bitches about what I say on here. (He does, but...well...you get the idea.) No, the reason I almost quit is because of Google search words.
Periodically I look over the stats on my blog, seeing how many hits particular posts have gotten, what countries have checked me out, referring sites, etc. I also can see what Google search words brought readers to my site. That is my reason. It doesn't happen often, less than half a dozen hits overall, but I occasional get found through a search that leaves me disturbed at the least, homicidal at the most, and paranoid all the time.
I don't want to give the pervs anything new to hit on, so let me word this carefully. A few months ago someone got to my site through a search involving words for a less-than-18-year-old-person and lack of undergarments. This morning it was that same aged person and use of a restraining device popular with police. (They found this post.) Strangely, last week I also got a hit for "living room murder photos" and I'm still trying to figure that one out. And, frankly, that search doesn't bother me nearly as much as the ones involving children.
It's no surprise to me that there are freaks on the Internet. It also doesn't come as a shock that they would be trolling for trash involving youngsters. My emotions get ratcheted up a notch when I think they might be looking at my children or my friends and loved ones. It's like when a crime suddenly happens in your neighborhood and you find yourself thinking, "I can't believe it happened here." I get overcome with that mother lion instinct. The claws come out, my muscles clench, and I start thinking shotguns are a good idea.
I won't stop blogging. Whether I do or do not write about my children there will be scum slithering around the World Wide Web. I will be cautious what I write about, definitely what photos I post. Obviously, with the Penn State scandal, pedophiles are on the minds of every mother in this country right now. If Jerry Sandusky is proven guilty of the crimes for which he is accused, I would have no problem with him being strung up and used as a human pinata. When it comes to crimes against children I become my most barbaric.