AN ARMY OF PHILS (OR A PAPER CHOMPER OBSESSION)

My daughter's latest crafting craze is about to push me over the edge.  She came home whiny and weepy the other day, wanting to know how to make "Phils."  I had  no clue what she was talking about, which just added to her frustration.  A couple days later she returned from school, thrilled that someone had put one in her desk.  This, apparently, is a "Phil":

Think recyclable Pacman and you've got the basic concept.  I have no clue who named the damn things, but apparently at least one of the second grade classes is running around calling these things Phils.  After Googling I finally found that they are known as "paper chompers" and nobody on the Internet as far as I could tell is calling them Phils.  (There is, though, apparently a really good place called Phil's BBQ out there...)

Nothing gives me the pip worse than when Foghorn drags out her supplies and gets into some elaborate project that scatters a forest's worth of paper around my family room.  My only hope when she started assembly line-style Phil production was to get her a box.

She began to call this her "army."  WELL, you can't very well have an army around a 12 year old boy without him wanting an army of his own, so The Professor spent last evening making his brigade.  (I then sent him out to the garage for another empty box.)

There are apparently great plans for an upcoming battle.  Foghorn has already annoyed me so many times by having Phil chomp in my face that I threatened to put him in the paper shredder.  I'm sure the battle will be very civilized until somebody wrinkles somebody else's chomper and then all hell is gonna break lose...


You might also be interested in:

*  MEET THE INMATES - FOGHORN

*  MEET THE INMATES - THE PROFESSOR