"DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO?"

The Inmates - Foghorn & The Professor

Okay, it's a snarky question from my husband, The Vulcan, but not necessarily a completely unreasonable one.  I am, after all, a stay-at-home mother to two kids, both of whom just went back to school.  I have approximately six hours between the time the youngest gets on the bus and the oldest gets home.  With a block of free time like that, one would expect that my house is immaculately clean, I have a healthy home cooked dinner planned, and I'm more cheerful than June Cleaver on uppers.  Instead there's probably a basket of clean but wrinkled laundry in the bedroom, the dining room table's surface hasn't been seen in two months, and I'm on intimate terms with the local pizzeria.


While I resent my husband asking why, under those circumstances, I'm wasting time writing a blog, I can kinda understand the question.  What exactly is my purpose in being here?

I want to say because this is a "misery-loves-company" blog.  My motto is, "If you don't have something nice to say, come sit by me."  I regularly dream of driving away, alone, with a teardrop Airstream trailer attached to the back of my car and I know for a fact that I'm not alone.

The Warden

My blog is dedicated to those women, whether they work or not, who have mouthy kids, dust on the end table, and a burning desire to run away with Denzel Washington...or Hugh Jackman...or both.  I want women with out-of-control children to feel better because they know they're not the only ones (or maybe feel great relief knowing at least their kids aren't that bad).  I want ladies to feel like less of a failure because they ordered Chinese food last night when I've served hot dogs three nights running.  And I want to spread the word that no one ever died from contact with dog slobber!

If your life is a chaotic whirl, you can probably relate to me.  If you have a sparkling clean house, perfectly coiffed hair, and kids well mannered enough to meet the Pope on short notice, then you'll think I'm a mess.  And that's okay, too.  If I serve you by making you feel superior, that's not such a bad thing either.  I've been known to watch the occasional really bad reality show just because it makes me feel so much better about my own life.

I can't promise you the solutions to cat vomit stains in the down comforter, kleptomaniac children, or erasing $30,000 worth of credit card debt.  I can only give you a little glimpse into my life with all its warts and scars, its fun times and its adventures.  I even occasionally throw in a recipe or a knitting pattern or a favorite book.  I don't aim to shine a light on the world's troubles and I don't pretend that in the big scope of things my problems matter one single bit.  I just hope to give someone a few minutes of amusement during the day.

As for my husband, next time he asks the question of why I'm blogging, I think I'll say with a puffed-out chest, "Because I'm serving women worldwide."  Naw...I think I'll just say, "I have to have someplace to publicly skewer you."

You might also be interested in:

* MEET THE INMATES - THE PROFESSOR

*  MEET THE INMATES - FOGHORN