- Why was there a desiccated French fry in the bottom of my knitting bag?
- Why were there two pair of Foghorn's underpants and nine empty juice boxes behind the futon?
- Why does the dog drink out of the toilet and the cat wash her feet in the water bowl? (Wait a minute. Maybe the former happens because of the latter.)
- Why did I find peanut butter in the fridge and margarine in the pantry?
- Why do the dogs think the only reason to put on gym shoes is to take them for a walk?
- Why does my husband wait until after I've tidied up the whole kitchen at 9 p.m. to forage for food, ensuring that I wake up to dry and hardened Frosted Flakes glued to the stainless steel sink?
- Why does the dog think a 19th century book on the World's Columbian Exposition is so much more toothsome than kibble? Or a Nylabone? Or a 21st century, easily-replaced Harry Potter volume?
- Why are children always their most quarrelsome/hungry/thirsty/talkative at bed time?
- Why does the mailman produce such ire in the dog?
- Why does the dog produce so much ire in the cat?
Why does the Vulcan produce so much ire in the Warden?
Finally, and maybe most importantly:
11. Why does the cat always choose to puke on the carpet, never on the bare floors?
If you all will excuse me now, I have a date with the Spot Bot.
You might also be interested in:
* Meet the Inmates -- The Professor.
* Meet the Inmates -- Foghorn.