In honor of the first day of school, I give you...
THE 5 THINGS I'LL MISS MOST ABOUT SUMMER
- The Kids - Believe it or not, when they're not fighting and not mouthing off at me and not destroying my home, I'm actually pretty fond of those two.
- King's Island and Coney Island Rides - I'll miss you Adventure Express, Beast, Scrambler, and Tilt-A-Whirl. Yes, Tilt-A-Whirl, I think I'll miss you most of all...
- Sleeping Late - Never underestimate the power of sleeping past nine o'clock.
- Staying Up Late - Never underestimate the power of knitting at one a.m. while watching television.
- No Children's Activities - My children are far less scheduled than most of their peers with extracurricular activities, but nonetheless they have enough busy evenings during the week to get on my nerves. During the summer we take a break from all that and I revel in the long, unstructured hours. (Well, unstructured except for the structure I give them, but who doesn't prefer that?)
And it just wouldn't be right if the snark queen didn't also give you...
THE 5 THINGS I ABSOLUTELY WON'T MISS ABOUT SUMMER
- The Inmates Sleeping in the Basement - They would probably list staying up until all hours watching Netflix in the finished basement and then sleeping there on the sofa beds as a highlight. From the viewpoint of The Warden, who is trying to sit on the family room couch and do some meditative knitting, the constant screams and crashing sounds from below me start to grate on the nerves...especially at one a.m. (see number 4 above).
- Sibling Squabbling - No, I have no fond memories of the incessant, nasally whine of, "Stopppppp!" from Foghorn every 10 minutes. Or the constant interruptions to decide the remote control battle.
- Sunscreen - From a cancer-preventing standpoint, sunscreen is one of the best things ever invented. From a convenience standpoint, the crap sucks. I'm compulsive about protecting their skin, remembering all too well those sunburns of my childhood where it hurt too much to wear clothing and sleep was impossible because I was burned all over as if I'd been rotated on a spit. At the same time, I get so tired of smearing that stuff on, particularly with Foghorn, who resists the process. It comes to resemble a greased pig contest.
- The Total Lack of Silence - To quote the Grinch, "One thing I can't stand is the noise, noise, noise, noise." 'Nuff said. If you need more info, see #2 above.
- The Heat - I'm so not a hot weather person. And I'm a big baby about it because I go from an air conditioned house to an air conditioned van to an air conditioned store, so it's not like I get the full fury. I admit my whiny-pants behavior where heat is concerned, but anybody who has felt the humidity of a Cincinnati July knows what I'm talking about. Then there was that heat wave. Cincinnati tied the record, set in 1901, with 17 consecutive days over 90 degrees. (We missed beating the record by one degree, I might add.) I am, however, grateful I wasn't around in 1901 for that other heat wave, with no air conditioning and stuffed in a corset.
Yes, right now I'm enjoying this empty house. (Well, it's as empty as a house with two cats, two dogs, and a husband with a home office can be.) And I'm enjoying the structure of knowing when my hours of quiet will be (and arranging any work involving concentration accordingly). It won't be any time, though, when the thrill of solitude will wear off, much as the sleeping late thrill did back in June. Then I'll return to bitching about getting up early, dragging kids to activities, and packing those damn school lunches, not to mention the daily torture of homework helping.
But for this moment it's nice to hear birds singing. Have they been doing that all along?