Thursday, August 18, 2011


The Warden and Foghorn
Okay, sometimes I think I give the impression that my eight year old daughter, Foghorn, is nothing but a loud-mouthed, crude psychopath, destined to blow something up and/or make her living swinging from a pole.  Those are all possibilities, but today I also give you the other side.

Last night Foghorn had spent a chunk of the evening making up cheers involving how wonderful mom is.  (Usually something involving how I'm the best and her brother is the worst and her father is a jerk).  At some point she presented me with a lovely pink heart cut out of paper with "I Love You" printed in the middle.  Seeing the affection showered on his little sister inspired The Professor to go cut out a bunch of paper hearts and present them to me.  He then continued mindlessly cutting out paper hearts, dozens of them, while watching Pokemon (and leaving all the bits of paper all over the couch).

Foghorn got into the heart-making as well and ran into the dining room where I was typing to bestow upon me increasingly elaborate hearts accompanied by cheers.  As her grand finale, she appeared butt naked except for a heart taped over her crotch like a fig leaf, doing her cheer, and shaking her bare behind.  She then handed me the heart with an evil laugh and I grasped it by its edges and placed it on my desk. 

Today, the Professor and I were gone for a couple hours picking up his schedule for 7th grade and scouting out all the classrooms at his new school.  While he and I were off standing in line to pay school fees and trying to get his locker combination to work, Foghorn was home with her father and decided to pass the time with some artwork.  I came home to an impressive, and touching, array of heart-themed items made just for mom.

Sometimes the girl does tickle me.  And she's not really so bad.  To paraphrase Norman Bates, "A girl's best friend is her mother."

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Nancy Susanna Breen said...

There really is tenderness under that outrageous, often nude exterior. Remember all those hearts when she is again screeching like a banshee all through a store or restaurant!!!

Anonymous said...

She's always sweet to her grandma.