Friday, April 10, 2015

IT'S A GIVEN...

Don't take this as a sign of how this week's been or my mental state at the moment.  Just a few observations on my part.  It's a given that:

  •  The dog will get diarrhea on her evening walk if you only have one pooper scooper bag.
  • When you finish a hand-knit sweater you're actually happy with an obnoxious girl will say, "Ahhhhh!  Ugly sweater alert!"
  • Your husband will wait until the light is burned out in the kitchen to write "light bulbs" on the grocery list. 
  • The morning after your dogs kept you up half the night afraid of a storm your teenage son will want to have a serious conversation about his theories on aliens, the afterlife, and portals all combined...before he catches the bus at 6:30 a.m..
  •  The night a beloved t.v. show is having the premiere of its first episode of the final season (to which you have been looking forward for six months), your baseball team will be playing its season opener.  (Just so you know where my loyalties are, I watched Mad Men on Monday.)
  • When you're on the months-long waiting list for half a dozen popular books at the library, three will become available simultaneously.
  • Your husband will wait until your dishes are covered with a hard water film fresh from the dishwasher before writing "water softener salt" on the grocery list.
  • The evening you decide to ease your pain with a Little Debbie brownie you will discover some bastard ate the last one and left the empty box in the pantry.  And all your kids' Easter candy is gone...as well as your own.  And you sit typing at the computer trying desperately to talk yourself out of running down to the creamy whip for a medicinal banana split (or what I like to call "Housewife Heroin").

Have a good weekend, everybody!

A week of pouring rain?
Perfect time to roll in the back yard.

1 comment:

lillianscupboard said...

And a muddy dog will jump up on a clean slipcovered couch.