QUESTIONS ON A SNOW DAY

This has been a bizarre winter.  The Inmates used up three of their allotted five snow days before the end of the year and shot through the other two before they returned to school in 2014.  (Yes, that twitch in my right eye is the result of that two week break turning into a three week break.)  We've had bitterly cold days with subzero temperatures and winds that would sear your cheeks if you didn't have them covered. 


This past Friday was an in-service day and yesterday, of course, was Martin Luther King Day, so the kids enjoyed a nice four-day weekend.  And much to my horror the snow started last night and this morning the text came through that school was cancelled and now it's a five-day weekend.  And  there's this thing called a polar vortex heading our way...  Not that I'm bitter.

I do, however, have a few questions:

1.  Why do my children, who are normally blessed with abundant health and sufficient energy, turn into enervated masses of flesh when it's time to shovel the driveway?

2.  Why do my dogs choose the coldest, iciest, snowiest days to follow me around the house, expectantly staring at their leashes on the hook every time I wander into the kitchen?

3.  Why does my request to leave the video games for half an hour and go walk the dogs with me meet with the same reaction as if I said, "Let's all go for rectal exams"?

4.  Why does my son, who is capable of making crepes from scratch, spend every snow day requesting food from me as if I were a short order cook?  And why does his hearing, which never misses a word when watching Supernatural, suddenly fail him when I holler, "Make yourself a sandwich!"

5.  And last, but certainly not least, why the hell do the snow days have to come at the end of an already long break?!?

This picture a friend sent me this morning sums up the sentiments of every mother I know: