CAMP GONNAWANNA PATCH - THE KICK OFF

Officially, 2011's camp doesn't begin until tomorrow, Thursday, July 21st.  However, our first activity is a 10 a.m. sightseeing cruise, requiring the children to get up around 8 a.m.  The thought of dragging their behinds out of bed, coaxing them into clothes, getting food down their gullets, and then attempting to unveil the camp details seemed as appealing as a colonoscopy.  Thus, we have this evening's kick-off.

I knew going in that my theme of earning patches was going to be met with little enthusiasm.  I was right.  Their faces fell.  It's my fault, of course, for having gone overboard in previous years and despite my frequent warnings the last couple weeks that this year's camp was going to be simplified, I could tell there was extreme disappointment.  There were also those rumblings from overindulged kids that make my blood pressure shoot up and expletives fly out of my mouth, so it took great restraint to simply do my presentation.

 

Official camp sign, theme explanation, and banners.

Uncle Chester provided the banners the kids will use for their patches.  She used squares of felt, then sewed binding to the top and bottom, making a space in the top for a dowel in case they want to hang them in their rooms.  The Warden, on the other hand, has a vest all prepared for herself.  Years ago I made a "cleaning vest", the idea being that you store your cleaning supplies in the pockets and such and then you could swiftly move around the house scrubbing.  I used it for one week and then it was abandoned to the back of my closet.  Who knew it would come in handy some day?

The first day's patches.

Each patch has a separate write-up detailing the activities they will be doing, as well as historical information or other details if relevant.  I unveiled the first patch:  Arts & Crafts.  It will be in three parts, with part one being done today.  Let's just say the look on my offspring's faces wasn't one of glee.  The Professor hates crafts and Foghorn, my artist, claimed she hated them as well.  When I threatened to cancel camp right then and there, they relented.

Craft #1 was to make "mystery braid" leather bracelets from a kit snagged at Hobby Lobby for 50% off.  I had wisely made one ahead of time last night, as the instructions left something to be desired.  I could blame it on the fact that the bracelets were made in China and something was obviously lost in the translation.  Their photo illustrations made Ikea's furniture instructions look clear as crystal.  Despite my familiarity with the process, I struggled to get the process across to my children.  The Professor isn't the most dextrous of children and Foghorn is still a little young and knows nothing about braiding, an essential skill for this project.  I then gave them erroneous directions a couple times thanks to those hieroglyphic-like instructions.  After much snarling and Sydney's repeated lament of, "I think this was a really bad idea" we got the bracelets made.  I thought they were quite neat.

The Inmates did not.  They quickly declared them "itchy" and "uncomfortable" and they landed on the piano.  I breathed deeply and tried to keep my inner Rahm Emanuel from emerging.  Foghorn started yelling for us to earn the science patch, which was briefly mentioned as one of the upcoming events in my kick-off presentation.  I exhaled, resisted my Rahm-urge to let loose with a string of obscenities, and got the write-up for the science patch.

Foghorn was very excited...until she found out it dealt with solar energy.  Then she began to whine about that.  Given her tendency to talk about blowing people up, usually with glassy eyes and a dreamy smile, I think she was imagining something with chemicals and test tubes.  I have no intention of giving anything so lethal to a girl who spent one happy Sunday at my mother's making people out of paper and the executing them with Uncle Chester's heavy duty paper cutter.

The solar kit had six options and the kids quickly decided on making the solar puppy.  I underestimated just how complicated the kit would be.  It involved actual wires and assembly of a gear box and for someone as scientifically-challenged as The Warden, it was quite a feat.  The Professor is more scientifically inclined, but his lack of dexterity meant I did most of the wiring, so there's a chance this puppy may catch fire when it's tested.  We gave Foghorn a few of the easier jobs like detaching the needed plastic pieces from the card.  By the time we finally got the sucker together the sun was down and we couldn't test the thing.  Since we're having a heatwave and the temperature will be close to 100 tomorrow, I figure we'll have plenty of time to try it out.  They're very excited, although I think Foghorn is expecting a barking, walking robot.  I think maybe the thing wags its tail when the sun hits it.  At least they had more fun than braiding the bracelets.

The kids quickly disappeared to watch a 3D video of their father's in the bedroom.  I took the opportunity to admire my bracelet.  In fact, I decided I liked it so much I grabbed the package and made myself one in each color.  So there, Inmates.

I caught a glimpse of our dog, St. Jimmi, chewing on what I thought was a Nylabone...until I looked closer.  While we had been busily experimenting with solar power, she had been cheerfully chewing up the cat's new harness.  She so belongs in this family.

St. Jimmi and the defunct cat harness.  I think the cat paid her to do this.

Note:  As camp progresses, I intend to link to separate blog posts giving specific details of products used, locations visited, etc., for the benefit of anyone with a Kamikaze personality who might be thinking of putting together a camp for her own children.


You might also be interested in:

*  Camp Gonnawanna

*  Meet the Inmates -- The Professor

*  Meet the Inmates -- Foghorn

CAMP GONNAWANNA

When The Professor, now aged 12, was a preschooler, I was inspired by Flylady to create an at-home summer camp.  The purpose was to get the kids involved in cleaning, decluttering, and organizing the home while having fun.  I thought this sounded lovely and did a simple week-long camp with a Hawaiian theme for my boy.


Somehow over the years, as is typical with anything I get involved in, the camp has expanded and grown as my compulsiveness has kicked into high gear.  An early camp involved a Pirate theme and daily worksheets that gave the children clues as to the day's activities.  (I patted myself on the back for tricking them into reading and doing math problems.)  As the children grew and the list of new-to-them activities shrank, I found myself feeling pressure to outdo the year before.  That's how we went from a Hawaiian camp with decluttering to a private plane ride from Lunken Airport in a few short years.  I think Flylady would say I'm a perfectionist.  She'd probably also have a few other names for me that may or may not be printable.

Given my compulsion to try to outdo myself each year, as well as my children's increasing "been there, done that" attitude, 2011's camp is going to be very scaled down to try to salvage what might be left of my sanity.  Insanity can be the only explanation for how a woman could bury her father in late June, try to handle his estate as executor throughout the summer, and still create a camp based on The Amazing Race, complete with "Detours" and "Roadblocks."  Someone needs to shoot me with a tranquilizer gun.

Based on my previously mentioned obsession with my daughter's Girl Scout awards, my sister suggested a camp based on earning patches.  My kids will not be impressed by this.  I, on the other hand, am super excited as I ordered THREE of each patch and intend to award one to myself for each activity as well.  I may even make myself a vest to sew them on. 

I've always tried not to duplicate activities from years past.  New and different has always been my motto (which is how we ended up in that little five-person plane with my mother and sister watching nervously from the ground as we took off).  Given how much my children get to do, finding new-to-them destinations and activities is getting increasingly difficult.  I've managed to come up with a list, though, that may not be as exciting as the helicopter ride I originally wanted (and which my mother was vehemently against), but I hope it will make for a fun week.  If nothing else I have a dozen or so patches just waiting to be sewn on MY vest.

Thanks primarily to an eBay store (TroopMoore), I'm now in possession of a wide variety of patches and a list of accompanying activities and destinations that I hope will be at least reasonably amusing for The Inmates.  If not, I can console myself with the fact that this is the least time-intensive camp I've planned since the first one.

A small sampling of the patches to be earned.

I'll try to give details on each camp day as it occurs, but for those who can't wait to see what we'll be doing, our activities will include:

*  Going to the American Sign Museum in downtown Cincinnati.
*  Visiting Big Bone Lick State Park in Kentucky.
*  Doing a Native American bead craft taught by Uncle Chester.
*  Creating no-sew fleece blankets for Project Linus.
*  Learning origami and making braided leather bracelets from
    kits purchased at Hobby Lobby.
*  Going to a Florence Freedom baseball game.
*  Visiting the Cincinnati Observatory.
*  Going on a scavenger hunt at Cincinnati's Findlay Market.
    (A big thanks to my friend Kathie for putting this idea in my head.)

And in case you think that this award obsession is mine alone, a recent blog post from my sister (affectionately known as Uncle Chester) will prove that it is genetic.


You might also be interested in:

*  Meet the Inmates -- The Professor.

*  Meet the Inmates -- Foghorn.

PATCH ENVY - PART 2

I previously confessed to my frequent breaking of the 11th commandment -- "Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Daughter's Patches."  As a Camp Fire Girl dropout, I have no vest tucked away in my hope chest dripping with patches and beads marking childhood accomplishments.  Foghorn recently bridged from a Girl Scout Daisy to a Brownie and the royal blue smock with its colorful patches has been hung in the spare closet and replaced with a brown vest.  At the moment the vest has only her troop number and a few insignia pins, although she may be on her way to filling this garment if she receives a patch for her appearance in yesterday's 4th of July parade.

Foghorn showing her lack of patriotic fervor by refusing to pass out flags to the spectators.

My sister, Nancy,  may be one of the few people who can understand my lust for recognition.  She could care less about patches.  Her obsession is for ribbons and medals.  While I sat gawking at a particularly fetching military man in dress whites who was nearby in the crowd, my sister noticed only the plethora of medals dangling from his chest.  

Given my feelings of inadequacy, a full 29 years after dropping out of 6th grade Camp Fire Girls, it's no surprise that I'm enamored of a new item in my sister's Etsy shop.  Nancy does beautiful crocheted jewelry and doilies, cool wall hangings combining vintage elements, and even a bracelet inspired by Emily Dickinson.  But what has my eye at the moment is this necklace:

It is fashioned from vintage wooden Camp Fire Girl beads and includes some of the red, white, and blue beads.  My one and only bead that I ever earned, and which was sewn on the front of my vest looking lonely against that huge expanse of dark blue fabric, was just such a bead.  Actually, my bead was much less cool, being made of plastic and about the size of my pinky fingernail.  These are larger and chunky and wood and combine my love of beady recognition with vintage goodness.  I keep trying to think of a way to earn this for myself.  If I go the whole summer with The Inmates and don't run screaming down the street naked in an insane fit or stow away on my neighbor's next Airstream excursion, isn't it just possible I deserve a little reward?


You might also be interested in:

*  PATCH ENVY

*  ULTRA COOL VINTAGE CAM PFIRE GIRLS NECKLACE