CAROL BRADY WOULD BE SO PROUD

I've mentioned before that I have this 1970s obsession.  I refuse to listen to those who say my admiration for David Cassidy resembles Fatal Attraction or that I'm somehow weird for wanting to name my children (or dogs) Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan, Bobby, and Cindy.  And so what if every time I go to King's Island I pretend I'm sitting in the seat Keith Partridge occupied on the carousel?

For someone as obsessed interested in 70s decor as I am, the last few months have been very lucky.  I stumbled on this hideously beautiful owl string-art picture at an antique store and my sister gave it to me for Christmas.  (Although she thinks the picture is disgusting, she still laments that she didn't see it first as it would have made a stunning surprise present.)

Well, last week I celebrated my birthday and my sister managed to round up a few more 70s goodies to add to my family room (which is not a monstrosity, I don't care what she says).  Makes me wanna pull out some bell-bottom trousers and listen to Bobby Sherman...

My sister (known to the Inmates as Uncle Chester) found this lovely
bit of vintage needlework at an antique store and my mother
whipped it up into a pillow.  Nothing says class like tangerine and marigold...

Despite her aversion to the colors, my sister crocheted this owl
and managed not to vomit.  (She gives the details, including a link
to the free pattern here.)

Tupperware!  She rounded up a new-in-the-bag
set of spice jars in green, orange, yellow, and brown, as
well as two Tupperware hostess books from 1970, the year I was born.

Look at the gorgeous bath set that lucky
hostess could have gotten!  And I'm wild
about that little Tupperware container key chain.
I had one when I was 12 and came home from school
to discover there was nothing but the lid hanging from
the chain.  I've mourned it for 30 years...

Oh, how I wish I could go back to my Grandma's Tupperware
party in the early 70s and get my hands on THOSE.

Another antique store find -- a book on 70s decor and architecture.
Most of the rooms are either in my classic brown/yellow/orange/green
color scheme or look like the side of the Partridge Family bus.  Heaven...

Foghorn is wild about building fairy houses out of sticks
and moss and stones in the woods.  She was SO excited
when she found out I was getting a 70s-themed one.  The house came from
Hobby Lobby, with the accessories painted by Chester.

My own bird bath with an owl on top...  Yes, there is a fowl-ish theme here.

A table and benches in my colors and a yard decoration
with a disco ball on top.

Despite my preteen son's behavior of late, which involves a lot of daydreaming about when he moves out and asking me, "Doesn't it bother you to be the worst mother in the world?", his gift proves I must be doing something right.  His father took him shopping and he bought me yarn.  Yes, the boy knows my other obsessions as well, but what is truly impressive is the one skein of multi-colored acrylic he picked out:

The Vulcan later told me that The Professor spotted that skein in the store and said, "Hey, that's Mom's 70s colors" and plucked it right up.  Makes my heart swell...


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FAREWELL TO SUMMER

Technically the season doesn't end for a number of weeks yet, but any parent (or student) knows summer really ends with the first day of school.  This morning I loaded my lumbering preteen onto the bus for 7th grade and an hour later loaded my second grader on another bus.  The Professor was droopy and draggy and still mumbling about the unfairness of school starting now.  Foghorn was cheerful and smiling and leaping and doing her version of Kung Fu at the bus stop (complete with bow and hands in prayer formation).  And I have hours of empty time.  Unfortunately I also have no clean socks in the house, an overflowing kitchen sink, and a dining room table loaded with unneeded school supplies, books, dvds, craft kits, and a kids' pilot hat.  Also somewhere on there is the electric bill which really should go in the mail today...




In honor of the first day of school, I give you...


THE 5 THINGS I'LL MISS MOST ABOUT SUMMER

1. The Kids - Believe it or not, when they're not fighting and not mouthing off at me and not destroying my home, I'm actually pretty fond of those two.
2. King's Island and Coney Island Rides - I'll miss you Adventure Express, Beast, Scrambler, and Tilt-A-Whirl.  Yes, Tilt-A-Whirl, I think I'll miss you most of all...
3. Sleeping Late - Never underestimate the power of sleeping past nine o'clock.
4. Staying Up Late - Never underestimate the power of knitting at one a.m. while watching television.
5. No Children's Activities - My children are far less scheduled than most of their peers with extracurricular activities, but nonetheless they have enough busy evenings during the week to get on my nerves.  During the summer we take a break from all that and I revel in the long, unstructured hours.  (Well, unstructured except for the structure I give them, but who doesn't prefer that?)

And it just wouldn't be right if the snark queen didn't also give you...

THE 5 THINGS I ABSOLUTELY WON'T MISS ABOUT SUMMER

1. The Inmates Sleeping in the Basement - They would probably list staying up until all hours watching Netflix in the finished basement and then sleeping there on the sofa beds as a highlight.  From the viewpoint of The Warden, who is trying to sit on the family room couch and do some meditative knitting, the constant screams and crashing sounds from below me start to grate on the nerves...especially at one a.m. (see number 4 above).
2. Sibling Squabbling - No, I have no fond memories of the incessant, nasally whine of, "Stopppppp!" from Foghorn every 10 minutes.  Or the constant interruptions to decide the remote control battle.
3. Sunscreen - From a cancer-preventing standpoint, sunscreen is one of the best things ever invented.  From a convenience standpoint, the crap sucks.  I'm compulsive about protecting their skin, remembering all too well those sunburns of my childhood where it hurt too much to wear clothing and sleep was impossible because I was burned all over as if I'd been rotated on a spit.  At the same time, I get so tired of smearing that stuff on, particularly with Foghorn, who resists the process.  It comes to resemble a greased pig contest.
4. The Total Lack of Silence - To quote the Grinch, "One thing I can't stand is the noise, noise, noise, noise."  'Nuff said.  If you need more info, see #2 above.
5. The Heat - I'm so not a hot weather person.  And I'm a big baby about it because I go from an air conditioned house to an air conditioned van to an air conditioned store, so it's not like I get the full fury.  I admit my whiny-pants behavior where heat is concerned, but anybody who has felt the humidity of a Cincinnati July knows what I'm talking about.  Then there was that heat wave.  Cincinnati tied the record, set in 1901, with 17 consecutive days over 90 degrees.  (We missed beating the record by one degree, I might add.)  I am, however, grateful I wasn't around in 1901 for that other heat wave, with no air conditioning and stuffed in a corset.

Yes, right now I'm enjoying this empty house.  (Well, it's as empty as a house with two cats, two dogs, and a husband with a home office can be.)  And I'm enjoying the structure of knowing when my hours of quiet will be (and arranging any work involving concentration accordingly).  It won't be any time, though, when the thrill of solitude will wear off, much as the sleeping late thrill did back in June.  Then I'll return to bitching about getting up early, dragging kids to activities, and packing those damn school lunches, not to mention the daily torture of homework helping.

But for this moment it's nice to hear birds singing.  Have they been doing that all along?