Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts

Thursday, November 29, 2012

NaNoWriMo 2012 -- FREEDOM!



Yes, I did it!  I was ready to quit last week...and the week before...and two days in...  I persevered, however, and wrote the most completely crappy 50,000 words of my life.  But it's a novel and it's mine and it counts, so I will gladly accept the applause of the lovely NaNoWriMo folks above and I will print out my certificate and I will feel like I accomplished something this year.  And, if I haven't mentioned it before, I give permission for anyone to bludgeon me with a ceramic turkey next year if I even hint that I am going to do this again.  Never, ever, EVER again!

You would think that after I wrote about the agony of NaNoWriMo last year and the much easier, but challenging, NaBloPoMo I would have known better than to take up this writing marathon again.  Yeah, right.  And you would think someone who KNOWS she gets horrendous acid reflux when she overindulges on candied sweet potatoes would only have a small amount on Thanksgiving.  Let's just say I need to get more Pepcid AC at the store.  




YOU MIGHT ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:

* NaNoWriMo Vs. NaBloPoMo

* Don't You Have Anything Better To Do?


Thursday, November 1, 2012

THE NaNoWriMo SURVIVAL KIT



Today is the first day of NaNoWriMo, the November writing marathon.  To meet the 50,000 word goal by the end of the month, the writer needs to average 1667 words per day.  I aim for a total of 2000 to make up for days when I'm busy and don't hit my quota or (gasp) don't write at all.  This morning I wrote just short of 1800 words.  And I pretty much used up all the ideas that have been floating around my brain the last two weeks.  What the hell am I gonna write about tomorrow?!?  Now I remember why every year at the end of NaNoWriMo I say "never again."  Time to break out the supplies...

** Unrelated note:  I do not control the content of the ads on my website.  In particular, I want it to be known that any political ads are not an endorsement by me.  I've had candidates from both political parties show up in ads and I don't want readers to think I'm pushing an agenda one way or another.  If you disagree with a candidate shown, please don't hold it against me.  Depending on who it is, I may not like him/her either. 

YOU MIGHT ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:

* The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

* NaBloPoMo vs. NaNoWriMo

Sunday, October 28, 2012

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR...

Unless you're my husband.  Then you grab the Excedrin and lock yourself in your office and mumble a lot, as if the wife had just said she ordered herself one of those spanking new (and much coveted) iPad minis.

It's November.  And November means NaNoWriMo!  For the uninitiated, that's National Novel Writing Month and it's a 30-day word production marathon.  The idea is simply to write a 50,000 word (or more) novel in November.  Nobody judges the quality, only the quantity.  (Whenever I do NaNoWriMo it's helpful to constantly reread the chapter on "Shitty First Drafts" from Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird, one of the best writing books ever.)

Last year I did NaBloPoMo or National Blog Posting Month.  Its rule of one post per day was hard, but not nearly as hard as NaNoWriMo.  I've finished NaNoWriMo twice and both times I found myself on the first of December mildly twitchy and baggy-eyed and confused, like I just woke from a coma...in a different century.  I usually spend the rest of the holiday month binging on Entenmann's fruitcake.  For myself and those around me, November is even worse. That's when my already pitiful housekeeping standards fall and my already pitiful meal-cooking enthusiasm diminishes and I become as grumpy as Donald Trump when a Democrat wins.

So why take part in the insanity again?  Probably for the same reason I write at all.  It's certainly not for fame or riches or worldwide acclaim (which all have so far eluded me).  It's because I feel a compulsion to do so...and I'm insane.  I have made a deal with myself that if I start to get too overwhelmed and crazed and/or we can't find the living room floor (or the dog) under piles of trash and clutter, I must give up.  There's no shame in that.  Well, actually, I feel a little shame when I don't succeed.  And I beat myself up mercilessly until the end of the year.  And I binge...a lot...  But there's nothing wrong with quitting.

NaNoWriMo suggests announcing to any and all who will listen that you are participating.  They figure that people might feel sorry for you and give you the quiet and space to write and maybe bring you things like fruitcake to sustain you.  They also figure if you annoy enough people with your constant chatter about how you're going to write a novel, you'll be too embarrassed to not finish.  I guess I just completed that suggestion.


YOU MIGHT ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:

* NaBloPoMo

* Don't You Have Anything Better To Do?

Friday, July 20, 2012

LAZY, HAZY, AND A LITTLE BIT CRAZY

We are past the halfway mark of summer vacation here, which means The Warden's nerves are seriously frayed, the sibling arguments are getting more frequent, and I've put on seven pounds.  (Last year I indulged in dozens of pints of Ben & Jerry's ice cream for medicinal purposes, the year before I went with the creamy whip's banana splits, also known by me as "housewife heroin", and this year packaged cream horns seem to be feeding my addiction.)  We've been seriously hampered in our summertime outings this July thanks to weeks of temperatures in the upper 90s, topping out at 100 or more some days.  Hard to believe we're having snowstorm-like cabin fever during the hottest month of the year.  Nonetheless we have managed to squeeze in some memorable activities beyond our usual trips to King's Island, Coney Island, and Grandma's swimming pool:

1.  Niagara Falls - We started out the summer by heading north, all the way to a foreign country.  (A nearly blow-by-blow account can be read by checking out my Facebook page.  You can "like" it by clicking on the link in the upper right corner.  Uncle Chester also kept a daily account on her blog, which you can read here.)

Preparing for the Maid of the Mist ride


Perfect weather


Canada's Butterfly Conservatory.  Only The Professor was
enthusiastic about this one and it turned out to be
fabulous.  I never thought I'd be that impressed
by butterflies.


The Whirlpool Aero Car





Chester doing a Fred Sanford on us.




The Hubbard-Roycroft Museum in East Aurora, NY.  Lots of
arts and crafts-style goodness.



Frank Lloyd Wright House in Buffalo.  Lots of art deco-style
goodness.




At Fantasy Island amusement park.  Foghorn's first time
behind the wheel.  She spent the whole time either turned
in her seat looking at her brother in the car behind her or
stopping dead in the road to pretend to light a cigarette.  Sigh...


Ohio State Reformatory in Mansfield, Ohio, the supposedly
haunted prison where they filmed large chunks of
The Shawshank Redemption
 

 
2.  Let's go surfin' now - The Professor and I took in the Beach Boys' 50th anniversary concert when they stopped in Cincinnati.  Much to The Vulcan's dismay, I returned home with an autographed program.  Hey, when you're talking about a band with only one member under 70, you gotta figure you need to grab collectibles like this when you can.




Die-hard Beach Boys fans will understand how I felt
seeing Brian Wilson on stage with the rest of the band.


3.   Mermaid time - Swimming is not an unusual activity for us in the summer.  What is unique is how often Foghorn has done it this year and how rarely The Professor has.  King's Island's water park was revamped over the winter and opened this year as Soak City.  The new, huge wave pool and the ability to ride in it in inner tubes was a hit.  What they did to the lazy river was not.  It was once a relaxing float along a meandering waterway with only the occasional water hazard or screaming, splashing kid to contend with.  Now it's a constant assault by water guns, spurting fountains, and overturning buckets.  The Professor was so mad we haven't returned since.  On the other hand, Foghorn is improving in her swimming thanks to weekly visits to Grandma's pool with Uncle Chester.  The Professor has declined all invitations to accompany them, opting instead for hours spent on his computer playing Minecraft and watching videos on YouTube.




4.  Doggy overnighter - A few weeks ago a dog rescue had a transport that was stopping overnight in Cincinnati.  (For those unfamiliar with the concept, dogs in shelters have been taken in by rescues in another state and need transport.  It ends up being like the pony express, with dozens of volunteers driving dogs an hour or so away and then meeting up with a new team who take them on the next leg.)  A plea was put out for a place for some of the dogs to board overnight or they wouldn't get on the transport and would have to be left behind.  Despite The Vulcan's objections, I volunteered and we played host to the sweetest seven month old hound pup named Billy.  Even The Vulcan agreed he was incredibly cute, although he admitted this after he was sure I had safely deposited Billy with the next driving team.  He's always so sure that if an animal enters our house it will never leave...just because that's been the case every time so far.

Foghorn and Billy had a special bond.

He didn't make a peep all night until he spotted a couple
deer in our backyard.  That got his attention.


A total cuddle-bug.

Foghorn in particular became extremely attached to Billy.  I've often thought we should be a foster family for Recycled Doggies, taking care of some canine cuties until their fur-ever homes come along, but I wondered about the emotional toll it would take on the kids.  This overnight experience, unfortunately, taught me that it would simply destroy Foghorn to have to let dogs go.  She cried in the middle of the night, while Billy was still there, and then rose at 6 a.m. to cry over him as I was preparing to take him to the transport meeting place.  I would judge her for her sappy, wimpy ways if I hadn't cried all the way home myself after dropping him off and saying goodbye.  Despite her mourning, she was almost immediately talking about the next time we have a dog over for the night.  The Vulcan wandered away mumbling to himself and locked his office door.




YOU MIGHT ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:

A Furry Kind of Love

The Sad Tale of Little Red Riding Chester




Monday, September 5, 2011

PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW

Back in June, Uncle Chester and I took The Inmates to Chicago for vacation.  Three days before our departure, an expensive but critical bit went out on my 2002 Toyota Sienna minivan and couldn't be repaired in time.  Needless to say, after six hours' driving each way with four of us crammed into a PT Cruiser, my determination to purchase a new van this year went up a notch.  I had intended to get one in the Spring, until a tsunami decimated parts of Japan and caused major issues with Toyota production.  By summer things were mostly up and running again when I ran into my second obstacle:  Hurricane Vulcan.

Since The Vulcan rarely goes out with the children and even more rarely drives the van, he thought there was no reason not to drive the current one to death.  I, on the other hand, was the one who ran the risk of it breaking down on the expressway with Foghorn in the car, whining in my ear for hours on end waiting for AAA.  Not to mention I've been fighting sticking side doors for years.  It all came to a head on Saturday when Grandma tried to close the door from the inside only to have the button she'd depressed get stuck and the door refused to close all the way.  I decided it was perhaps not wise to have a woman about to turn 79 ride home holding onto the handle to keep it from sliding open.  There I stood, in full view of a restaurant full of people, kicking the hell out of the door panel, trying to get the button to dislodge and/or the door to shut all the way.  Foghorn even got to kick it from the inside, but instead of hitting only the button she kept hitting the glass and I could see her entire foot going through, so she had to be restrained.  Once I finally got that door shut, I placed a loving, calm, and sane call to my husband, telling him we were going out to look for a new van.  I may have cut him off mid-sentence by hanging up on him, but that really doesn't sound like me..

Long story short, after trips to two dealerships over the weekend, a couple hours of nasty quarreling with The Vulcan, and a sincere threat to take money out of our bank account and simply write a check to Toyota without him, we are the owners of a new 2011 Sienna minivan.  In the end, even The Vulcan admitted we got a good deal, since the 2012s come out in early October and the dealers are wanting to get rid of their 2011s.  We had intended to pay cash, but since we got 0% financing in addition to a $1000 rebate, it seemed silly not to use their money for three years.  It also helped wipe that stricken look off The Vulcan's face...a little.

Foghorn was extremely enthusiastic about the idea of a new van, although she kept insisting I also check the car lot for an RV.  A couple years ago she became obsessed with owning a Winnebago and began saving money in a three foot tall Coca-Cola bottle bank.  That was fine (even though the price tag on the model she wanted was $180K and it would take her a good 25 years to save that much from her allowance).  What I objected to was her insistence on hitting up people for money.  Grandma and Chester regularly had their pockets picked, which was bad enough.  The straw that broke The Warden's back was when she started panhandling to complete strangers in stores or restaurants, pleading for pennies for her Winnebago fund.  When that didn't work, she began going around saying she was a "poor little urchin" and could someone spare a dime.

The Professor in Gatlinburg -- 2008
The Professor, on the other hand, is extremely sentimental.  At this moment we are in desperate need of a new sofa-bed in the basement, but he insists we can't get rid of the old (read:  broken beyond repair) couch because it has so many good memories.  Our blue Sienna minivan was purchased when he was three and I was expecting baby #2.  (That pregnancy ended in miscarriage, but another successful pregnancy came right on its heels.)  He really doesn't remember riding in anything else and I will say it was not without a little emotion that I gave it up to Beechmont Toyota.  Our vacations are always road trips, so that van was used to go to Pennsylvania, Virginia, West Virginia, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky.  It rolled through Civil War battlefields and big city traffic.  It took us to the Smokey Mountains and to the beach.  It transported us to numerous Camp Gonnawanna destinations, Halloween pumpkin patches, and Christmas light viewings.  It saw my kids go from rear-facing baby seats, to front-facing car seats, to booster seats, and, as of a month ago for Foghorn, to just a seat belt.  The poor thing, given that it experienced the first eight years of a child's life, also had every type of bodily fluid splashed in it, as well as large quantities of juice, lemonade, and dog drool.   (We left behind the DNA of at least a dozen dogs and two cats.)

Camp Gonnawanna - 2008
As far as The Professor was concerned, all those memories were more important than having a vehicle we could actually rely on to get us from place to place.  I disagreed.  And, of course, I won the battle.  I arrived at Grandma's to pick them up in our cranberry red minivan  and Foghorn went wild with exicitement at all the new technology.  After almost a decade of using our no-frills version, we're overly impressed by extras that others have had for years.  Foghorn is in love with having middle seat windows that roll down and have detachable sunshades.  She gleefully watches the back-up camera come on when I put the car in reverse and can't get over the fact that her seat is now separate from The Professor's and can recline.  She gave it the ultimate compliment when she declared, "This is better than an RV."

The Professor is a harder nut to crack.  He's old enough to ride shotgun now, so he's able to fiddle with knobs in the dashboard and is enjoying that I can hook the iPod right into the stereo where he has easy control over songs.  He loves the automatic sliding doors, especially opening them with the button on my key chain.  And he thinks having 10 cup holders is just the best idea ever.  Still, he's having trouble letting go of the old van.  Repeatedly while riding he says, "I'm not saying this one isn't better.  I'm just really gonna miss the old one."

My beloved Tristan
And I completely understand.  I wasn't allowed to drive until I was 18 and living in a rural area I was chomping at the bit to break free.  Thanks to my mother matching whatever I put in my savings account during my teen years, when I did get my first car it was a brand new one.  I purchased a 1988 light blue Chevy Nova, which I named Tristan Graham Hewson.  ("Tristan" for the character on All Creatures Great and Small, "Graham" for Graham Nash, and "Hewson" because it was the real last name of U2's Bono.)  Nobody loved a car more than I loved that one.  I suddenly was in control of my own movements and could go wherever, whenever I wanted.  I bonded with that car in a way I didn't bond with anything again until I had my first child.  I've had many cars since, all much nicer than that Nova, but I've never loved one as much and none has given me the same thrill.  While I appreciate how The Professor feels, I also know that there comes a time when you have to let go of something that's gotten...well...old.  For Tristan that was 1995 when two $1300 repair bills still didn't manage to solve the problem of him stalling every time I touched the brake.  I reluctantly let sentiment go for a car that wouldn't kill me at an intersection.  I still miss him, though.

Frank gives it two paws up.
The Professor is slowly coming around.  Today, on the way home from Grandma's, he said with a smile, "This really is a great van."  And to ease the pain, we've given him naming rights.  He's still pondering what to christen it and I just pray I'm not about to spend 10 years with a van named after a Pokemon.