CELEBRATING 80 YEARS...WITH A KNIT DUSTING MITT

My mother's 80th birthday celebration continues with her daily gifts.  You can see this week's update at  Lillian's Cupboard, her blog, here.

This last week contained only one knitted item from me (although I found two Cincinnati Reds goodies for the lifelong fan).  What says 1953 better than a hand-knit dust mitt?  June Cleaver would be so proud.

This pattern can be found at Free Vintage Knitting here and full details can be found on my Ravelry page here.  The mitt part of the pattern knit up super fast and as I was putting the dusting strands on it I was thinking what a great idea this would be for my 9 year old daughter (assuming I could get her to use it on furniture and not on the dog).  After my second row of tying little dusting tassels on the thing, I decided I never wanted to see this pattern again.  It's a boring, long process to attach those little bits.  The result, though, is fairly cute and functional.  Granted, you can buy a made-in-China version for a couple of bucks at the store, but mine will last a lot longer and, trust me, the yarn hair is not coming out if you throw it in the washing machine.  Those suckers are tied tight.  Now if I can just get my mother to quit saying "but it's too nice to use..."


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"DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO?"

The Inmates - Foghorn & The Professor

Okay, it's a snarky question from my husband, The Vulcan, but not necessarily a completely unreasonable one.  I am, after all, a stay-at-home mother to two kids, both of whom just went back to school.  I have approximately six hours between the time the youngest gets on the bus and the oldest gets home.  With a block of free time like that, one would expect that my house is immaculately clean, I have a healthy home cooked dinner planned, and I'm more cheerful than June Cleaver on uppers.  Instead there's probably a basket of clean but wrinkled laundry in the bedroom, the dining room table's surface hasn't been seen in two months, and I'm on intimate terms with the local pizzeria.


While I resent my husband asking why, under those circumstances, I'm wasting time writing a blog, I can kinda understand the question.  What exactly is my purpose in being here?

I want to say because this is a "misery-loves-company" blog.  My motto is, "If you don't have something nice to say, come sit by me."  I regularly dream of driving away, alone, with a teardrop Airstream trailer attached to the back of my car and I know for a fact that I'm not alone.

The Warden

My blog is dedicated to those women, whether they work or not, who have mouthy kids, dust on the end table, and a burning desire to run away with Denzel Washington...or Hugh Jackman...or both.  I want women with out-of-control children to feel better because they know they're not the only ones (or maybe feel great relief knowing at least their kids aren't that bad).  I want ladies to feel like less of a failure because they ordered Chinese food last night when I've served hot dogs three nights running.  And I want to spread the word that no one ever died from contact with dog slobber!

If your life is a chaotic whirl, you can probably relate to me.  If you have a sparkling clean house, perfectly coiffed hair, and kids well mannered enough to meet the Pope on short notice, then you'll think I'm a mess.  And that's okay, too.  If I serve you by making you feel superior, that's not such a bad thing either.  I've been known to watch the occasional really bad reality show just because it makes me feel so much better about my own life.

I can't promise you the solutions to cat vomit stains in the down comforter, kleptomaniac children, or erasing $30,000 worth of credit card debt.  I can only give you a little glimpse into my life with all its warts and scars, its fun times and its adventures.  I even occasionally throw in a recipe or a knitting pattern or a favorite book.  I don't aim to shine a light on the world's troubles and I don't pretend that in the big scope of things my problems matter one single bit.  I just hope to give someone a few minutes of amusement during the day.

As for my husband, next time he asks the question of why I'm blogging, I think I'll say with a puffed-out chest, "Because I'm serving women worldwide."  Naw...I think I'll just say, "I have to have someplace to publicly skewer you."

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